Alone
by GhostWave
Summary: After the death of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan is left at the mercy of his emotions. Set near the end of Phantom Menace. Oneshot.


_The glowing red blade bore through Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, who let out a short gasp of pain, before falling to the floor, where he lay still._

 _Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi screamed out in anger. "No!"_

 _He duelled the Sith Lord who had killed his Master, rage coursing through him, the need for revenge overpowering him._

 _He fell into the pit, grasping on to a mechanical device protruding from the wall._

 _His lightsaber fell past him, his own weapon._

 _Summoning the Force, Obi-Wan called his fallen Master's lightsaber to him._

 _He sliced through the Sith Lord, his anger overpowering him, and the Zabrak fell backwards._

 _Obi-Wan ran to his Master, taking him in his arms._

 _He promised to train the boy, the Chosen One._

 _He promised._

Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open. He had relived the moments leading to Qui-Gon's death hundreds of times in the last few nights. The rage that coursed through him as he had duelled Darth Maul had in no way been quelled in the death of the Sith Lord. In fact, it had fuelled the fire burning within him.

He sat up, and swung his legs over the side of the bed, and placed his head in his hands. He sighed deeply. He knew his anger was not the Jedi way, nor was it like him to feel emotion this strongly. The loss of his Master before he had gone through the Trials was a blow that Obi-Wan had not expected. Losing his Master at all was something he had never even thought of. Qui-Gon seemed like he was invincible, Obi-Wan had believed that he could never be harmed. He knew it was childish of him to think such things, but the grief at losing his Master had forced him to realise that he had believed them.

Obi-Wan stood up sharply. He needed to get out of his room, escape from the confines. Clear his head somehow. He left his room, the door sliding silently shut behind him, and he walked steadily down the hallway. The palace of Naboo was silent at night, peaceful, void of the buzz of the many species that went about their daily business. But now, the marble floors lay bare, the golden pillars casting long shadows across the faintly lit corridors. Obi-Wan moved soundlessly along each passageway, his mind whirling. The injustice of Qui-Gon's death infuriated him. He should have been able to defeat the Sith Lord, with his Master at his side. If only he hadn't fallen. If only he'd run faster. If only...

Obi-Wan became aware that his cheeks were wet, tears having slipped out without his knowledge. He hurriedly wiped them away with the ends of his sleeves, not wishing to admit defeat like this. But he could not stop them. His mentor, his protector, the man he had loved as a father, was gone, and he was never going to see him again. He'd never gotten a chance to thank Qui-Gon for all he had done for him. Obi-Wan knew he was reckless, but despite all of his daring exploits, Qui-Gon had done everything within his power to ensure that his Padawan would grow to be a wise and highly skilled Jedi. Now, Qui-Gon would never see the boy who had gone through so much with him grow to be a man, to be a Jedi.

Obi-Wan let himself fall to his knees. He felt that he could not bear the loss of his Master. He could not bear the burden of training the boy, the Chosen One. He was not adequate to have such a position. He could not bear walking this path alone. He could not. _He could not_.

"Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan shouted out. "I need you! Please! I can't do this without you!" Sobs were beginning to force their way through the Padawan. "I'm sorry for failing you." he whimpered. "I should have come to you sooner. But I wasn't fast enough...I wasn't...I'm sorry..." Obi-Wan had lost all his control, his emotions thrown to the fore. "I can't train him. I can't train the boy. That was to be your duty, you are the only one with the adequate skills, you are the only one who deserves to train him." Obi-Wan choked on his sobs, the heels of his palms against his eyes in a vain attempt to stop the flow of tears. He was angry at himself for losing control like this, but the pure grief overwhelmed him, just as the need for revenge had overwhelmed him as he had duelled the Sith Lord.

The corridor echoed with the sound of the distraught Padawan's sobs. Obi-Wan was now far beyond what was seen as a suitable amount of emotion for a Jedi. "Master...I never thanked you. I never thanked you for all you did for me." Obi-Wan was overcome. He could no longer form words. He collapsed completely, a feeble figure in the grand expanse of the wide marble corridor. Light from the scope of Naboo shone on the broken Padawan as his whole body shook from the sobs of grief.

"Unlike you, this is, young Padawan." came a voice from the shadows.

Obi-Wan forced himself upright to his knees. "Master Yoda, I apologise for my behaviour." he choked.

"An apology is not needed, young Padawan. Acceptance, however, is, hm?" The small green form of Yoda shuffled out from behind a pillar, his stick hitting the floor with a soft _thunk_ with each step. "Acceptance that your fault, it is not, that Master Qui-Gon died."

"I should have run fast-"

"No, young Padawan, it is the way of the Force that Qui-Gon passed. Did everything you could to help, you did. Stop him from dying, you could not."

Obi-Wan stared at the Jedi, well aware that he would no doubt look indecent. "I-" he began.

"Obi-Wan, clear it will be, in the future, for you to see that you could not have done anything different. Patient, you must be." Master Yoda was a stubborn being at times.

"Yes, Master Yoda." Obi-Wan struggled to his feet, weakened greatly by his outburst.

"With you, I shall come. Make sure you return safely to your room, I must." The little green creature shuffled off in the direction of Obi-Wan's temporary chambers. The Padawan himself slowly moved alongside the Jedi Master, his emotions still raw within him.

"Normal, it is, to be sad, young Padawan." Yoda looked up at Obi-Wan, his eyes filled with understanding. "Sad, too, am I, at the loss of Master Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan fought to hold down more tears from escaping his eyes. Despite Yoda's words of comfort, he felt little in the way of reassurance.

"Master Yoda, I appreciate your words, but I-"

"Not much use, you feel my words are, hm? Deny it, do not. Little comfort, you will feel, for a period of time. You to feel like this, Qui-Gon would not wish. For you to carry on, he would want."

Obi-Wan looked out the large windows, across the lush landscape of Naboo, now cast in shadow, moonlight shining across bare patches, giving it an eerily beautiful look to the already breathtaking planet. He thought of all the adventures he'd shared with his old Master. He thought of the conversations he'd had with him, the things he'd confided in him. He'd truly trusted him, loved him as a father. Even though he'd gone, Obi-Wan still felt his Masters' presence with him. "I understand, Master Yoda." he said. "I must carry on. You're right, it is what he would have wanted. I'm sorry for my actions."

"Understandable, they are, young Padawan." said Yoda.

"But it is not the Jedi way."

"Events like these, bring out our true selves, they do." Yoda stopped, placing his hands folded on the top of his stick. "Your room, this is. Here, I will leave you."

"Thank you, Master. I appreciate what you've done. And again, I apologise."

"Mention it, do not, young Kenobi. Here for you, I shall be." Yoda turned away, and the door to Obi-Wan's room slid open. He entered quietly, and sat down on his bed. The door shut without a sound. Beyond it, he heard the faint _thunk_ of the little green creatures stick fading down the corridor.

"A strong Jedi, he will be" he heard Yoda say.

And then.

 _Then._

"Look after him, Master Yoda." said Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan bolted to the door, impatiently waiting for it to open. When it did, he burst out into the hallway, and ran in the direction that Yoda had gone. Except, there was no one there. The whole corridor was empty. Obi-Wan ran back the other way. Again, it was empty. He could have sworn he'd heard Qui-Gon's voice, there was certainly someone there.

But the hall was empty.

Obi-Wan was alone.


End file.
